


Captain Planet And His Horrible Decision, As Told By Tony Stark

by Temp (HailSam)



Category: Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Other, Steve is happy for once, Tony questions everyone, Tony questions life, as do i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 16:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailSam/pseuds/Temp
Summary: WHO GIVES TEENAGERS MAGIC RINGS TO FIGHT SUPER POWERED VILLAINSRIGHT





	Captain Planet And His Horrible Decision, As Told By Tony Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Here's to you, October, and your need to see this work into the world.

A lot of things happened in New York. There was a teenaged superhero who dressed in red spandex and expected that to keep him safe. There was a hard headed literal super hero who saw no harm in asking said teenaged superhero to do things to help out. 

There was a very, very, very exhausted billionaire who questioned literally life each day when he found something new and just plain mind-breaking.

He pretty much took over as Peter's 'guardian' by putting his foot down on any of them asking him to help out during school time. Kid was smart, needed to go to college instead of hopping to his feet whenever anyone said 'Up'. Peter didn't appreciate it, but he seemed less irritable and the bags under his eyes weren't as prominent, at least.

He was too young to live on coffee and pure stubbornness like Tony did, constantly.

All this to lead up to the fact that, during one very strange fight-a disgusting trash monster...thing-a group of teens appeared...with some kind of blue guy??? Who managed to get rid of said trash monster in about five minutes. 

Oh SHIELD did not like that at all. Someone doing something without them knowing? Naughty, naughty. So they all got dragged to 'The Avengers Tower' which, when did Tony's tower turn into SHIELD headquarters again? Never? That's right, never. He had half a mind to kick them all out so he could go and nap until he had to drag himself up and down a pot of coffee, but it just wasn't worth the effort. Yet.

For now he was in the waiting room that people sat in uncomfortable chairs with sheets of papers they wanted to show off or ask him to sign. All that was here was that blue guy who was pretty damn buff if he was honest. Tony squeezed his own bicep with a grimace. That guy could probably pop his head off. He was at least Steve's muscular size, if not a little bigger.

The teens had been separated into 'interview rooms'. Rather, conference rooms which Tony needed back in half a day and he'd be happy to toss Agent and his friends out on their heads in order to finally make a deal with Mr. Xiu.

"Soooo," Tony started, leaning against the wall. "Who the hell are you?"

The blue man, who had been ramrod straight in the chair, twisted his head-like a damn doll, that was freaky-to look at Tony with a flashing grin. "I am Captain Planet! It's nice to meet you, dear citizen!"

"...yeaaaah," Tony drawled. "What are you?"

"I am the spirit of Earth itself, the powers that be combining to summon me to assist in keeping our planet a safe and healthy environment!"

"...dude, what the hell..." Tony mumbled. The guy's giant grin never faded as they stared at each other. "So what about the kids...?"

"My compatriots!" He loudly declared, a fist thumping his own chest proudly. "They were chosen to own the Rings that summon me and the elements by Gaia hers-"

"Back up back up, you gave teens magic rings?"

Captain Planet nodded, his grassy green weirdly cut hair never moving. "In a sense! They were gifted them, chosen by them, to summon fire, earth, wind, water, and heart-"

"You gave teens. Magic." Tony stared at him with wide eyes.

Captain Planet nodded again. "Absolutely! They're very brave and we have worked together for oh...it feels like years!"

Teens. With powers. Powers that, from what he had seen, weren't exactly controlled but shot out from the ring. Like a damn cannon. Tony slid down slowly with a very low groan, thumping his head on his knees. "Teenagers. With magic powers. This is worse than Peter being able to sling around. Fire. FIRE!" 

Captain Planet seemed concerned. "Dear citizen, are you quite alright? I know, it's quite unsettling to realize all that is happening to our dear planet, but do not fret! For I!" He stood up suddenly, striking a pose and startling the receptionist who had drifted off at her desk-Tony couldn't blame her-and grinning wide. "Am Captain Planet! And I shall rid this world of pollution and disaster!"

"Oh well if that's all," Tony snarked, standing up with a groan as he popped his back. "Too old for this. Too old for this. I am too old for this. Got me?" he pointed at the Captain, who had yet to move from his pose and merely nodded with the bright grin.

God, it was just as big as Steve's in those lame 'Captain America' greeting ads. And just as bright. Too bright. Tony could go blind looking at it.

Tony looked away with a huff. "Well, anyway-" he was interrupted by a door opening, Steve himself-still in full Captain America get-up-leading one of the teens out of the room. Wheeler, if he recalled, the one with fire. Wheeler didn't seem to be concerned with anything going on, even taking out a flip phone and typing on it as Steve stood in front of Captain Planet.

"Well, we spoke with the teenagers...and I have to say..."

He clapped a hand onto Captain Planet's shoulder, smiling that 'fan' smile. "I am so proud that we, as a country and planet, have you to rely on to kick us into gear and get to recycling!"

Captain Planet nearly puffed up even further. "It is not only my duty, but my destiny! Recycling is only one of many ways one can contribute to helping the planet!" 

Steve looked like he was hanging on every word, nodding along.

Tony...

...had to go get more coffee if he had to spend another moment with Smiley Lumberjack One and Smiley Lumberjack Two.

**Author's Note:**

> *clicks tongue*
> 
> Yup.


End file.
